Permission for Pleasure
with Cindy Scharkey RN, BSN, Educator, Author
Overview
In this bonus episode of the SPARK Speaker Series, titled Permission for Pleasure, Cass and Leah sit down with Cindy Scharkey, a nurse, educator, and host of the Permission for Pleasure podcast. With nearly four decades in healthcare, Cindy has dedicated her career to empowering women with education, confidence, and real conversations about sexual wellness. Her new book, Permission for Pleasure, serves as a pocket-sized sexual wellness retreat, guiding women to dismantle shame, reconnect with their desires, and embrace pleasure on their own terms. Cindy emphasizes the importance of community, open conversations, and education in helping women reclaim their sexual agency.
What You'll Learn
Cindy highlights that midlife is a pivotal time for women to shift their focus inward, after years of prioritizing others. She describes a 'pleasure crisis' where many women struggle to recognize or embrace pleasure in their daily lives, let alone in the bedroom. She encourages women to start small—by exploring what brings them joy outside of sexuality—while also learning to stop comparing themselves to others. She dispels the myth that sexual desire should always be spontaneous, explaining that desire in midlife is often more responsive and requires intentional effort to cultivate.
A core theme of the discussion is how deeply shame and misinformation have shaped women's understanding of their bodies. Cindy calls attention to the fact that the clitoris is often left out of sex education altogether, reinforcing a lack of knowledge and confidence in female pleasure. She stresses that learning about and exploring one's body—whether through self-pleasure, communication with a partner, or experimenting with tools like vibrators—is not selfish, but an essential form of self-care. Cindy also tackles the ongoing stigma surrounding lubrication, urging women to see it not as a necessity tied to dysfunction, but as a simple, enjoyable way to enhance intimacy.
Why Watch
The conversation wraps up with practical advice for fostering better intimacy and communication. Cindy suggests starting conversations about sex outside of the bedroom and framing discussions positively, such as highlighting what already feels good before introducing new desires. She underscores the importance of mindfulness and sensuality in heightening pleasure, encouraging women to engage their senses in everyday life as a way to stay present and connected to their bodies. Ultimately, Cindy’s message is clear: every woman is worthy of pleasure, and giving oneself permission to embrace it can be truly transformative.
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